Drowsy Domain

 When I lay down to sleep at night, my mind races with thoughts of the day,

With funny things my friends had said or the things we did together.

My problems swirl around, begging me to find their solution

And I review events that I had likely reviewed a thousand times already

But I continue on reviewing, like a damned man who hungers but never eats.

I search my soul for purpose, and plan out dreams of the future

And who knows how much time I have spent before sleeping,

Thinking of the type of girl who would love me for who I am,

And wondering if I could ever do the same for her.

As I lay there in my bed, this tempest grows more intense, and I feel I can’t getaway

But then an image of an enormous city appears in my head, and I grab hold,

Hoping that it could anchor me in the storm.

The winds of thought tear at its walls, and rip up the streets,

But I hold on tight to every piece and try to keep it whole,

Until the wind stops altogether, and I stand in this perfect city, by myself, and alone.

I explore the streets and look in the windows,

Knowing I’m still awake and that the storm couldn’t be far off.

Clean glass, steel, and concrete are all I see in this place but the simplicity is its beauty.

I look ahead, and at the end of the street, the city ends,

But rather than the storm, I see a rich field, with grass as high as my waist,

And trees that grow thick with leaves and have large knots in their trunks.

I see the place where I had walked before.

It’s a dirt path that winds through the grass, leading through the trees, to a wide hill.

I made that path, I remember now, and I follow it up the hill.

A simple wooden chair sits on its peak and I remember why I came. 

I take my seat, finally at peace, and close my eyes to rest.

This was my world; I was its king, and the only person in it.

Upon a Cruise ship: Royal Caribbean

It is truly amazing to go into a new experience with the attitude that every action taken is going to be a learning opportunity.

On this boat tonight I look for a new experience by myself in “The Vortex” – a dance club on the 12th deck. I’ve chosen a remote seat near the middle of the room, choosing to be ignorant to my singleness. Meanwhile, other couches in the room host drinking couples who now have vacation-tainted personalities motivating a friendly attitude.

For me tonight it’s just water. I don’t drink. Everyone is coupled up, over 30 (or even 50) and dancing playfully round the room. Coming my way right now, actually… (at this moment I was franticly coaxed to stop writing and get up and follow the dance train as it passed me by. Which I did. I followed the dancing train to the dance floor, where I stayed dancing for a few songs).

I learned that having fun is sometimes just as easy as acting the part, and letting anything happen that comes your way.

Later I walked around the deck by myself and I couldn’t help but to take in the scenery: There was a reflection of moonlight on the dark blue water. The movement of the boat crushing any still waters in its path and adding waves behind it. During the day the water is a light reflective blue, but now turned dark from the night and frosted by moonlight.

Tomorrow we go to Haiti… or at least some island that only cruise tourists will be on.

-April 2009